december 28
what could
be more fun than
writing fifteen of these
at once? apparently, not fixing
my bass.

december 27
first band
practice. righteous
hangovers abound, but
greasy huaraches and decent
songs save.

december 26 ten free whiskey cokes and a pizza to do what i wouldve anyway
i will
judge you for drinks.
i will take this fucking
seriously. you will not re
gret me.

december 25
and on
His birthday, He
created xanax and
rum so holidays would not be
too bad.

december 24
FOUR DAYS
marathon of
house will not be enough,
but it's a quite decent start, u-
s-a.

december 23
this was
a tuesday, prob
like most other tuesdays.
i might have even enjoyed some
pizza.

december 22 tiny fat baby hands
future
bedortha has
now become a real live
baby: fern margaret. happy
birthday!

december 21
what i
wouldn't give for
a good burrito in
this fucking city. your fatal
flaw, pal.

december 20
your birth's
proximity
to christmas has fucked me
up every single year. can't you
change it?

december 19
you could
not have picked a
more hungover day for
me, for your birthday party, but
here am.

december 18 karaoke night.
singing
ace of spades while
high school musical was
actually playing starts my her
oics.

december 17
the day
my asthma stopped
controlling me, and i
started controlling my asthma.
glory.

december 16
you cut
off my final
presentation. it's like
you already read my eval
to you.

december 15
finals
week. in grad school?
like doesn't my paying
for this ensure my A? no? oh,
god damn.

december 14 tiny cupcakes too, but i'm over it.
ah, sweet
craftacular.
lousy with poor handmades
and all the feathered headbands i
could want.

december 13 fine, i'll leave the house already, jesus.
n/m
i guess it's not
possible to order
yogurt (greek) and lattes over
a-prime.

december 12
having
amazon prime,
free shipping and one click
ordering, will keep me housebound
forevs.

december 11
i think
the chumbler is
lonely, but i know i'll
not love a second cat the same
as him.

december 10 on myspace's "people you may know"
just a
veritable
who's who in people i
didn't realize had unfriended
me. burn.

december 9 on self righteousness
feeling
uppity from
having gone to class fresh
off the plane from france, so i'll skip
today.

december 8
strange to
wake up in france,
dream across the ocean,
and later learn reference technique
at school.

december 7 on channeling moz
the more
you ignore me
the closer i get. that
includes: not returning calls or
emails.

december 6 the stranger's tale
at some
point i become
aware that i'm starting
to believe the lies and am racked
with guilt.

december 5 two outta three ain't bad
steve says:
there is not a
better way to friendship
than fatigue, proximity, and
some beers.

december 4
jet lag
study betrays
my wakefulness, but i've
brought twelve books along for this end
less ride.

december 3
oh, you
vile little troll.
how i loathe to hear you
spew your antagonistic spiel
on us.

december 2 what has two thumbs and blushes?
guest talk.
graphic novels.
your knowledge and balding
ness leave you so attractive to
this guy.

lately
i've been staying
up later than you. days
turn into nights and i can't stop
thinking.

november 30
nothing
can puzzle me
more than why i do my homework.
while we're there, why am i even
in school?

november 29 seriously, the swat team showed up
hostage
crisis in the
building next door brings an
unexpected twist to brooklyn
living.

november 28 on being honest with holidays
twenty
four years old and
still i wonder: am i
really related to every
one here?

november 27 on driving late from brooklyn
time to
leave. two am.
new jersey awaits an
hour past the sad hugs we all just
gave up.

on aaron cometbus's pecs

i'm so
sick of in-shape
punks. aren't we all in this
together? why let myself go
alone?

on love zombies

i fear
that if i stop
thinking about you all
the time, you'll waltz back tangibly
instead.

i can
not believe that
one year ago i was
on my way, moving to oakland.
mindfuck.

november 23 on at least not being tired anymore
thirteen
hours sleep might
finally catch me up,
but it's not long enough to fix
all else.

november 22 - on 20 minutes to breakfast tostadas and girltalk
not that
we weren't friends, but
i'm just so glad now that
brunch halfway only means going to
fort greene.

november 21
one of
'those moments' at
a party in brooklyn.
i know you're here to be seen; why
am i?

november 20
how much
can i really
spend on tights when people
keep dying? welcome to a new
crisis.

november 19
now that
you're twenty-four,
it's inevitable
that someday soon, just months, so shall
i be.

november 18
at year's
end when i look
back at all these obits
in a row, i will not know how
i lived.

november 17

KENNEALY, DONNA M.
Suddenly on November 17, 2008, age 31, of Cinnaminson, NJ.
Donna was an avid lover of books, music, poetry, writing, comics, British and Japanese culture, animals, all things quirky, Veganism and Morrissey.
She was the beloved daughter of Elaine M. (nee Carboni) Kennealy and the late James E. Kennealy, loving sister of Kerry T. (Dennis) Connor of Eagleville, PA, Christina (Jeffrey) Manuola of Sicklerville, NJ and Stacey E. Kennealy of Blue Bell, PA, dear aunt of Logan and Gavin.
Relatives, friends and fellow employees of Colonial Life are invited to attend Donna's Life Celebration Saturday10:00 am - 12:00 pm at SNOVER/GIVNISH OF CINNAMINSON, 1200 Route 130 North, followed by her Memorial Service 12:00 pm. Interment will be Private.
In lieu of flowers contributions in Donna's name to: Farm Sanctuary, PO Box 150, Watkins Glen, N.Y. 14891 or www.farmsanctuary. org/farm would be appreciated www.lifecelebration.com

do you have ghosts in yr home too?

november 16 on goodbyes
we hug,
say goodbye and
appreciate what will
come next for all of us, somewhere
distant.

november 15 on the ergs and hunchback calling it quits
after
these bruises heal,
all that's left: memories,
apologies, and notions of
great change.

november 14 on secret shows from secret bands that should have been better kept
well, well.
blake schwarzenbach
and aaron cometbus.
a dream come true? or just a sad
past-blast.

november 13 on every wall in the parlor
secrets
become the theme
to this, the last weekend
and final chapter to that part
of life.

wednesda yacatially

your tape
that i, sometime,
will fashion for you, at
sometime will make you rue the ver-
y day.

november 10, on drinking again
i miss
feeling vola
tile. stability is
overrated. someone re-break
my heart!

november 8
we all went to jamie's funeral way out, long island. after everyone came to greenpoint to drink it off, dance a little, remember good times. you said, "i think someone died, theyre all wearing black" and i wished your friend was dead and buried instead of mine so you would've known how fucking stupid you are.

november 7
please stop
dying. two deaths
in as many months is
just too much for anyone to
deal with.

november 6
James Douglas Ewing Jr.
EWING - James Douglas, Jr. "Jamie", of Islip, NY, passed away suddenly, on November 5, 2008. He was the beloved son of James and Maria, brother to Eric and Cassandra, brother-in-law to Elaine, and was also an adored grandson, nephew and cousin. Jamie was born on August 10, 1983. He lived a full life with passion for music, art, and travel. In his all too short time with us Jamie touched countless lives from California to Brooklyn, and leaves behind a wealth of love and affection with all who knew him.

november 4,5
i got
a little swept
up in this whole thing, but
when obama promised his girls
they would
take a
tiny puppy
to the white house with them,
i was glad i sent my vote in.
godspeed!

the burden of good performance

90
on a midterm
i thought i bombed. for the
first time, i feel obligated
upkeep.

november 2
jersey
city. pancake
breakfast burritos. no
tortilla. pancake in lieu of.
slow death.

november 1
worlds a-
fire is the
single best book i have
read about circus fires long
ago.

october 31
something
wicked this way
comes with gnashing teeth and
bleeding gums. and hey! a dog dressed
as bee!

october 30
okay.
my concession:
banksy's pet shop ended
up great. that's the last i'll speak of
him, though.

october 29
grandma,
you are so god
damn old today. how you
stay also so spry is a world
wonder.

october 28
midterm
break. take my
laundry to new jersey
and get fat on homecooked dinner,
desserts.

october 27
today
was my first test
in three years. it is now
too clear they should have been spent in
study.

october 26
using
adderal to
study for the first time
ever would work best without in
ternet.

october 25
weston,
bob weston, where
fore art thou bob weston?
mission of burma sates me not,
sans you.

october 24
there is
something just so
grand about stomping a
cigarette out with a cowboy
boot heel.

whatever size flat panel that entire wall is and two tivos please.
always
i tell people
"i don't know what i'd do
with that much money." but i do:
tv.

october 22 clean your fucking dishes.
i'm so
fucking tired
of the idea that if
i want something done, i have to
do it.

october 21
boys who
order cocoa
are so inherently
cuter than they who stick with their
coffee.

october 20
tracking
calories again.
a better day to start
would not have involved so many
eggrolls.

october 19 stuff white people like on sundays, subtitled: do i even need to mention i'm wearing american apparel right now?
nonfat
latte, screening
baby clothes, itunes set
to "quiet songs," nyt mag
up next.

october 18 re: october 14, 15
some brisk
sunny satur
day, i will think of you
idly then pass you on the street
and wave.

october 17
this, my
third month in new
york city, sees but my
first bagel back on this coast. c'est
la vie.

october 16 the 2500$ question
screening
for french study
passed, i look forward to
whiling away four days in their
vineyards.

october 15
or is
there? sometimes, the
line blurs somewhere between
coincidence and whatever
fate is.

october 14
there is
something to be
said about these people
who keep winding their way back in
my life.

i'm too
old, too fat, too
young, not beautiful, could
be smarter, can't help it, feeling
empty.

october 12 on why we can't hang out
either
your girlfriend hates
me, you hate me, or you
love me, and none of those satis
fy me.

october 11, 10,9
there are
not enough syll
ables in the world to
adequately describe this
awful
two day
hangover, but
i'll try 44: my
glasses fell into my own puke,
and that's
just the part i
remember. see? now we're
pushing 66 syllables.
so gross.

october 8
oh, that
sweet old raleigh
over there? that's my new
bike, and it is glorious. scope
the bell!

october 7
this class
sucks. even the
middle aged women think
it sucks, so it must. totally
awful.

october 6
i can't
help but notice
how disgusting you were
before, and now you wear a cape?
just, wow.

on dessert truck suggesting i save my cocoa to eat as pudding on the morrow

it's a
fine idea, but
you neglected to give
me any help on the self re-
straint front.

october 4 an open letter to my cat.
i know
it's over now
but why didn't you catch
the rat? what the fuck, dude? grow your
pair back.

october 3 an obituary
the rat
was caught, this third
day of october, found
wriggling in max's sock drawer, we
stoned him.

october 2 on churros vs. gruyere truffle mac and cheese
the two
things i want to
eat are either local
gourmets, or greasy, disgusting
street carts.

october 1 if one, then the other
really?
it's october
now for serious? then
why is kenley still on project
runway?

monday, tuesday september 29, 30 ode to the rat in my room.
max re
gains position
in cupcake industry.
i accidentally acquire
job in

cupcake
slash flea market
industry. celebrate?
no. get a little stoned and fear
the rat.

ode to salvatore bk

sandie,
how i love you.
let me count your ways: salt,
jam, ricotta, and prosciutto.
fuck me.

september 27 on overnights in nj
i am
a twenty three
year old grown ass adult
woman, yet i still bring my laun
dry home.

september 26 yeeeeeesh.
i know
we haven't boned
in like, three years about,
but that face you make brings it all
right back.

september 25 on college health centers
it is
so easy to
get drugs, even in spite
of my classic drug seeking be
havior.

september 24 weird.
"oh, him?
that's prof. berry.
he's the editor for
library journal and collects
clovers."

september 23
knowing
the middle aged
women also hate this
class is so validating. vin
dicate!

september 22
hey! where
did my best friend
go? give her god damn back,
providence, or we got some god
damn beef.

september 21 on seven dollars an ounce
head hurt.
hungover, again.
there is but one cure, in
all of new york city: it's rice
pudding.

september 20
blank dogs!
the exact let
down i knew it would be.
the intelligence rages on
and on.

september 19
hungover.
empire state
building at three am
a bad idea of empire
volume.

september 18
i watched
your baseball game.
that does not mean in a
million years that i understood,
liked it.

september 17
this was
over a week
ago. i have no clue
what i did this day. apolo
gies, friends.

september 16
thank god
that tv is
back for the season. give
me house, or give me...svu,
i guess.

september 15
Novem​ber 13, 1980 – Septe​mber 15, 2008

Willy​ Grave​s moved​ on from this world​ early​ Monda​y morni​ng.​ He died at his home in Seatt​le,​ WA, where​ he has lived​ for nearl​y a year since​ movin​g from San Diego​,​ CA. He spent​ the major​ity of his life there​,​ befor​e movin​g to the Pacif​ic North​west to be close​r to his frien​ds.​
Willy​ is survi​ved by his mothe​r Delin​ of Eurek​a,​ CA and fathe​r Leon of San Diego​,​ CA. He is also survi​ved by his broth​er Cody,​ his siste​r Cheye​nne and his young​ niece​,​ Chloe​.​ There​ is a large​ and wides​pread​ commu​nity of Willy​'​s frien​ds all over the country and the world​ who will conti​nue to honor​ the memor​y of his twent​y-​seven​ years​ with us forev​er.​
Willy​'s great​est joy and passi​on in life was music​.​ He was a very talen​ted music​ian and write​r,​ and will be great​ly misse​d by those​ who spent​ time with him over the years​ writing music​ toget​her,​ playi​ng shows​ and touri​ng the world​.​ He loved​ to trave​l with his vario​us bands​,​ most notab​ly The Plot to Blow Up the Eiffe​l Tower​.​ He was parti​cular​ly fond of Berli​n and Londo​n.​
Willy​ will be remem​bered​ for his sense​ of humor​,​ his gener​osity​ and his abili​ty to build​ great​ commu​nitie​s aroun​d him. Peopl​e gravi​tated​ towar​d him. We will miss his presence very much,​ but he is at peace​ now. We bless​ his passa​ge and hope his journey is brigh​t and beaut​iful.​

september 14 on sundays
by 9am
if post secret
is already read, then
the rest of my day unfurls so
slowly.

september 13 on lunch at swich
if you
have lemons, make
lemonade, but if you
have bananas too, throw those fuck
ers in.

september 12 an open letter to my dad
truly
i could not will
myself to care about
cell phone pictures of baltimore
harbor.

september 11 oh, art schoolers.
on jake's
suggestion of
what to do for the first
9/11 tribute: pizza
party.

september 10
the best
worst time for the
seaside boardwalk is right
now when it's all but empty, save
cheesesteaks.

september 9 and 8
on my unrequited desire to Be Involved. also, why i like reality tv.

this is
without a doubt
not my business, BUT! just
adding or subtracting words
here and
there may
follow the hard
letter of the law, but
certainly defies the spirit,
girlfriend.

september 7 on free peanut butter and company coupons.
i will
miss class. i will
ride the subway, all day.
i will do anything for free
p.b.

september 6
again!
the cyclone, yet
again, breaks my back and
my self preservation. how scared
i am.

september 5
that thai
food was more than
okay for bushwick, but
i would've sent it back any
where else.

september 4 hello, max.
welcome
to new york. i
hope you like pizza. and
i hope the cat likes you, 'cause i
choose him.

september 3 on what gives?
so far
what perplexes
me about grad school is
the profs are so old, yet email
savvy.

september 2 on walking back from the train at night after being kept late in class
lady,
just because YOU
have the luxury of
driving home, does NOT make my 'hood
safer.

a list
of national
parks i could not care less
about: yosemite, san juan,
badlands,
arches,
cape cod, bering
land bridge, lincoln's birthplace,
mount rainer and motor cities,
rushmore.

august 29,30 on not wanting to work in the field i'm going to school for
i dropped
a class so i
could waitress at that cute
diner in the 'burg, but then i
soiled your
dreams of
living in my
house. now i have to be
'relevant' in part-time career
searchings.

august 28 on bearcats
bearcat
how did you get
so cute? how did you know
you were the perfect animal?
kiss me!

august 27 on orientation
if this
indicates how
boring the next two years
will be, then i am in over
my head.

august 26 seriously, i asked for spinach.
how did
you get chicken
and spinach confused? i
suffer along with my failure
tacos.

on nervous aspirations

the one
and only thing
i want to do is smoke
cigarettes. probably because i
look cool.

on taunting

the worst
constant in my
life is roller derby:
this is a non issue for all
short girls.

it would've been weird.

i was
close to giving
you back that hoodie i
made you three years ago, but i
couldn't.

august 22
relief
overwhelms me!
ER is in its last
season. my prison sentence will
end soon.

august 21
now that
that's done, do i
even have to start the rest of
my to-do list? "get a burri-
to: check."

august 20
on this
momentous day,
we signed a year lease on
the twenty first apartment
in our queue.

august 19
flossing
takes time daily.
it takes twenty minutes
once a year for cavities to
be filled.

august 18 on lying about hardwood floors
oh my
god i am so
fucking exhausted by
this apartment hunt and i blame
craigslist.

august 17 on notches in the ear
so the
chumbler has been
"altered" already. how
was i supposed to know your sec
ret codes?

august 16
i'm much
better alone
than i thought i would be.
probably the inclusion of piz
za helps.

august 16
concept
album: "now i've
seen everything." first song?
"vivian girls open for son
ic youth."


august 15
tiny
baby wearing
a homemade giraffe shirt:
an auspicious omen today
indeed.

august 14 an open letter to the dental hygienist
i will
not submit to
forcible flossing. em-
barrasment will get you nowhere,
lady.

august 13 on accepting defeat
the main
thing with places
that aren't that bad is that
they just are not that bad. long live
cable.

august 12 on my parents forever keeping me on lockdown.
i would
love to go see
apartments, but you took
my car apart on purpose so
there's that.

august 11
once, you
said that i had
fertility goddess
hips, which r. crumb said first, but it
was nice.

august 10 repititious parental blabbler
i am
losing my god
damned mind here. i dont care
about your friends, or your day. get
me out.

get me
the fuck out of
the suburbs. already
i grow weary of the strip malls
and trees.

august 8 on spotty internet on the interstate
the one
single thing worse
than watching family
guy is updating two weeks of
this thing.

august 7 on waning zeal
litter
does not excite
me the way it once did;
still, i'm glad to know one piece don't
matter.

august 6 on small town repairmen and brushes with death
'no brakes!'
is just the worst
realization to come
to while doing 80 on the
80.

august 5 on road signs
this one
really took me
a while. in fact, your stance
on sodomy, while personal,
inspires.

august 4 because writing poems about singing to my cat just isnt quoting rushmore enough
i ain't
even here, sar
geant. i'm in cheyenne, wy
oming. let's rock, esposito!
repeat!

august 3 on vh1 redemption songs
watching
'i love money'
with you cancels out that
time i found out you boned my ex
boyfriend.

august 2
pristine
condition i
phone lasts less than a day
in my hands before it is scratched
to hell.

august 1 an open letter to justin
okay.
i'm not made for
mornings either. we're on
par. but if you pee in a cup,
toss it.

july 31
hunchback
and the ergs rock
so hard this night. i wish
two beers didn't my memory
erase.

july 30
moving
every six months
will never help ease my
deep fear and and loathsome prejudice
to pack.

july 29 on taking the first check that walks in the door
listen:
i'm sorry about
what you're about to en-
dure, but i really needed my
sec. dep.

in california, the waves break on the beach

26, 27, 28 july

as i
further myself
in mountain goats fandom,
i am equally becoming
distant

from the
real world. i got
joy joy joy in my soul
tonight, i got joy joy joy in
my arms

allright,
all right. you treat
me badly, but i love
you madly you really gotta
hold on

me.

on the lower 48

i feel
like if i don't
see kansas now, i nev
er will, but i'm learning to live
with that.

not to
influence your
decision or nothin',
but we could always just take shrooms
and freak

the fuck
out in utah's
desert, always on the
way to much bigger and much bet
ter things.

notes on a weekend getaway

july 22 on exponentially expanding RSS feeds
how can
i will myself
to check my blogs when i
know how many have accumu-
lated?

july 21
my need
for an iphone
currently trumps any
and all other needs. where is it,
then? huh?

july 20 on oregon's access to medical marijuana
watching
planet earth and
playing rock band was best
complimented portland's stance
on pot.


july 19 on apizza scholls, reservation for eight
pizza
in portland? are
you sure this is the best
i've ever had? it absolute-
ly is.

july 18 on the dismantling of the 24/7
i could
mention the house
just FEELS different now, but
all our friends still live there, so what's
the point?

july 17 seattle in a nutshell
how i've
missed glo's breakfast.
i have not missed how cold
the lake always seems to be, how-
ever.

july 16 on touch screens taking over the world
virgin
america! a
resounding fuck yeah for
an airline that eliminates
talking.

july 15
either
i need to be
more interesting, or
start writing these before all is
brain lost.

july 14
we are
down to the wire
here. i'm moving in two
weeks; are you coming to brooklyn,
or not?

july 13
i miss
that cable is
either a constant stream
of law and order svu or
seinfeld.

july 12
there is
no way this could
be less fun than waiting
two weeks and then trying to play
catch up.

july 11 on having enough time to stand in city hall all day
parking
tickets wage war
on those unwilling to
fight back; these people are also
employed.

july 10 on post modern separation walls
ghosttown
is a ghetto
in the nazi sense, though
its borders are defined by new
condos.

july 8 & 9 on the juvenile stalkings of neighborhood superstars
david
choe, tomine, clowes,
boxcar (jawbreaker, duh),
dare i mention cometbus? i
would not

have been
able to deal
with my teenage years in
'the o,' leading to my 20s
in jail.

july 7 on the worst instrument to have next door to you
there is
one bagpipe in
oakland, california.
my neighbor has it. i guess he
loathes me.

july 6
why do
i have a cat?
cats can't move to spain. they
can only sun their bellies. mad
respect.

july 5
the one,
i mean ONLY,
redeeming quality
of your warehouse is fireworks
up top.

june 30-july 4

it is
not lost on me,
the irony that,
while we were fighting through
tears about moving across the
country,

i was
blowing off my
plans to go see sex and
the city movie, where carrie
has to

meet big
in paris to
find out that they are
just greatest lovers afterall.
plus, it's

something
that the whole time,
i'm trying to write a
stupid fucking poem in my head.
even

tim gunn,
whom i channeled
for support, knowing his
own breakup history couldn't
save me.

on the moral integrity of recent immigrants in the mani/pedi industry

how long
does it take to
find disreputable
koreans to shave this callous
off me?

fires in
the hills have had
smoke washing down over
the flats, covering the house
with smog,

leaving
thin coats of ash
on my bike seat. wildfires!
why live in a place where your house
burns down?

june 26
the fact
that i need a
sublet in brooklyn that
accepts cats and maybe boyfriends:
baffling.

june 25 (on enough already!)
google,
your targeted
ads keep reminding me
of greece, which i've been trying to
forget.

june 20 (on colliding interests)
asian
baby sing-a-
longs, swimming and pizza
makes for the only good day in
sf.

june 21 (on lake anza salvation)
it's so
HOT here, but the
ocean is so FRIGID,
and we got yelled at for jumping
off rocks.

june 22
popcorn
hangovers are
far worse than any hang-
over ever caused by marga-
ritas.

june 23 (on those who know exactly what they're getting into)
when you
said indy jones
four was unrealistic,
what movie did you mean to see,
moron?

june 24 (on repeating history's mistakes)
when will
i learn that of
all possible impulse
buys, big melons are the worst of
them all?

june 17, 18, 19 (on recent eats)
if i
had known the truth
about quesadillas
(they take but a second to make)
surely

i would
be much fatter
today. big salads take
forever to chop up, but they
last just

as long.
this has been a
message from the ladies
home journal newsletter, june
'08.

on california's recent sunlessness.

june gloom
is real. i don't
know how it's real, i was
certain you were lying to me.
alas.

june 15 (on questionable female liberation)
i'm not
sure why we don't
fuck anymore, but i
am positive about my vib
rator.

june 14
as glad
as i am that
you work in the cupcake
industry, my bikini won't
share thanks.

june 13
moving
will always, ALL
ways, make me nostalgic,
no matter how badly i need
to leave.

june 12 (on every birthday card i threw away)
am i
buying you an
ipod because our room
is too small, or is it a part-
ing gift?

june 11
i so
deeply fear the
loss of rainier cherry
season, my wallet stays always
empty.

okay.
i'll concede that
riding a bike kinda
rules, but critical mass should still
fuck off.

june 9:
the main
problem with long
vacations is that they
throw off your projects by almost
a month.

june 8:
delia
moved to oakland,
which makes it feel slightly
more like new jersey, but still more
unsafe.

june 7:
wilson's
heart? no. give me
house's head twice, and i
won't mention how you made this ep.
before.

june 6:
j.d.
against a wall
of stuffed buffalo was
truly worth the extravagance,
l.a.

june 5:
i think
it's obvious i've
lost my touch with these; yet,
i've also recently lost sal-
ami.

june 4:
the main
thing about this place
is that it's not even
close to argentina, or mor
occo.

june 3 & 2:
i know
that being a
volunteer won't even
help myself let alone any
one who

really
needs help, and i'm
not even assauging
white guilt, i'm just bored already
back home.

june 1:
jet lag
you're a fickle
mistress indeed, but your
charms will entice me no longer!
haHA!

fucking hell.

may 31:
phantom
planet, you said
it best: "california,
here i come," but you left out bur-
ritos.

may 30:
had i
understood shabbat
better, i would've booked
a different flight instead of a
day's wait.

may 29:
frozen
yogurt, mixed with
frozen dragonfruit, and
frozen halva, is changing my
whole life.

may 28:
there are
guns, huge fucking
guns, everywhere here, but
the trick is that no one seems to
notice.

may 27:
at least
people think i'm
spanish, but even my
killer tan won't make them shut the
fuck up.

may 26:
thank you
for spilling juice
all over my dress, sir.
vegetable lasagna, you can't
be stopped!

may 25:
dog rides
motorcycle.
my heart rejoices and
i sing the praises of this great
nation.

may 24: (on beneficial translation problems)
turkish
women always
are ambiguously
pregnant. luckily, i can't give
congrats.

may 23:
watching
ET with our
turkish hosts, subtitled,
is about the same as english,
really.


may 22:
flip flops
were not my best
decision on this trip
but neither was 50$
of tea.

may 21:
please god,
let my laundry
be finished before the
last overnight bus consumes me
for good.

may 20:
first i
climbed a mountain,
then i fell down it,
and later found myself sculpting
clay pots.

may 19:
yo d.
how did you know
how dry my knees always
are in bathtubs? a god amongst
women.


may 18:
twelve hour
overnight bus
with a screaming baby
just to sleep inside a cave on
the moon.


may 17:
if i
never get off
(that's what she said) this boat
i will go down fighting (that's what
she said)

may 16:
in the
BFG, giants
never eat greeks because
they taste greasy. well, they also fuck
ing suck.


may 15:
oh, france.
you are so quaint,
but i've yet to take a
photo of ANYthing, lest it's
a dog.

may 14:
cafe
culture has so
enamored me. people
watching is a refined sport?
genius.

may 13:
eiffel
tower leg will
haunt me for the next three
days as i reconcile language
boundaries

may 12:
it's so
first world to eat
my way across europe
but i want to hug a camel
also.

packing
is such a god
damn challenge, it almost
undermines the reward of bon
voyage.

on the domestic pleasures of rented movies and stove top popcorn.

though i've
lost interest in
weekends entirely,
i feel bad when max offers me
his own.

on nerves

the ten
xanax prescribed
won't ease me through packing,
let alone the next three weeks on
small planes.

on the creativegrowth gallery opening tonight.

if i
could just figure
out who was pricing the
art here, i would be more inclined
to buy.

on becoming a moleman

i am
self conscious
about my dwindling eye
sight; i yearn to see underground
cities.

the doors
movie has to
be better than jim's grave,
but in one week's time, i'll find out
myself.

often
i find myself
homesick, desperate
and wandering aimlessly through
target.

reading
tori spelling's
autobiography
is a fine way to while away
weekends,

idle
ruminations
on 90210
notwithstanding. but that's just ms.
spelling.

your claim
that the bills have
been paid loses most of
its credibility when the
power's

out. when
you write notes that
claim "no, i paid this one,"
it's just such an impossible
lie, i'm

not sure
why you think any
one could possibly still
believe you. yet, you still remain
in charge.

casual dining is the only complement to modern cinema.

as far
as teenage thrills
go, paying for one film
(harold and kumar) and sneaking
into

one more
(baby mama)
is still a good use of
four hours. just follow up with
chili's.

greek salad, milk chocolate truffle bar, and seltzer at college trader joe's, m4w, oakland rockridge/claremont

having
a consistent
schedule has not yet led
to my discovery on missed
connex.

social reaction experiment v.1

my new
thing is giving
strangers compliments while
being so rude, my grandmother
would blush.

an open letter to whoever stole my laundry basket out of the locked laundry room, thereby sparing me the inconvenience of my own clothing.

thank you
for stealing my
laundry basket. i don't
know what i'd do with it. except
clean clothes.

the downside of whiteboards

for real,
the longer i
live here, the more likely
i am to just snap. or die of
ulcers.

ode to unemployment.

today
i have nothing,
absolutely nothing,
to do. at all. except look for
a job.

the miracle of buttoning pants

it's kind
of amazing
how busy i can make
myself believe i am just by
dressing.

i will
not let my tan
lines suffer just because,
in a bikini, i look so
awful.

if that little coffee shop on valencia kicked you out on open mic night, you're sure as shootin' not welcome in my house at 4am.

just when
things can't get worse,
an acoustic wielding
hippie shows up for four twenty.
fuck me.

it's not
yet noon and i
already regret this
early rise; my to-do list is
all clear.

on why california is so confusing

summer
is always so
full of promise, but warm
days, romantic as they seem, dis
appoint.

a note to the hippies who are trying to build a garden in the backyard:

perhaps
you never got the
memo, but the soil
here is so leaden that nothing
will grow.

re:

oh, most
awesome thing in
the world, how i love you.
when i clap to validate you [ed. okay, validate us],
you dance.

notes concerning self inflicted terror and doubt

a three
week vacation
is all well and good, but
i haven't left the house in as
much time.

grieving for lost banana creams and walnut tarts

mission
pie betrayed me
once: "we are closed. gas off."
excuse me? open up, my pie's
in there!

a perfect match for safeway chinese food

picnics
are nice. but this
is still oakland, so it's
hard to find a park that hasn't
burned down.

an open apology to whomever i bumped off the waiting list:

i know
it was selfish
to send deposits for
both schools, but i really couldn't
pick one.

notes on being gripped by reality tv

i burned
my marmalade
because on top chef, they
cook like adults, but they act like
children.

even
though i couldn't
care less about greece, it
seems fitting to start an epic
journey.

notes on my favorite sex columnist's mother

it's sad:
dan savage's
mother died. after all
the books, and columns, i know her;
i'm bummed.

8 april

okay,
west coast. you win
on one count: sourdough.
i shall concede there's no better
toast made.

7 april

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6 april

i'm so
grossed out when my
roommates buy that heinous
supermarket bread. corn syrup,
be damned!

5 april

notes on reclusivity and indecision

i know
that to do things
i just have to DO THINGS,
but, of course, that's easier said
than done.

4 april

i will
come to terms with
new jersey again, but
only so long as wawa stays
open.

3 april

even
if moving back
east isn't defeating,
i certainly feel defeated
by it.

2 april

re: best mates

dear sir,
if you bring me
that baby kangaroo,
(i will make sure both of)
your days are lived in comfort and
splendor.

1 april

rabbit,
rabbit for luck,
but if i go to old
navy, buy trip pants, and you bail,
i'll die.

30 + 31 march

okay,
if i had known
about escape from new
york and escape from la, my
life would

have been
so different
in monumental ways.
and, yes, i'm talking about kurt
russell.

28 + 29 march

nature
is so fucking
boring. don't let people
tell you "it's just so beautiful!"
they lie.

blackjack,
however, is
my calling. reno waits
'twixt mountains to make me a rich
woman.

27 march

oakland
has already
seen the apocalypse.
now whole foods looms triumphantly
downtown.

26 march

cat calls:
oh, you make me
feel like the prettiest
girl in oakland, but that doesn't
say much.

25 march

even though
i am insured,
my refill will still cost
two hundred just to be writ. i
sneeze on!

23 march + 24 march

hipsters
wander through
the mission in search of
some easter brunch, but burritos
sate me.

however,

finding
mexican food
on easter is a task
on par with raising jesus from
the dead.

22 march

when i
tell you you don't
love me anymore, i
don't mean it; it's just because i'm
lonely.

last night's
batman preview
left me affected by
heath ledger's death, but i was stoned
on hash.

really.
it took me not less
than ten full minutes to
pick a nonfat plain yogurt. fuck
breakfast.

19 march

if i
could just go to
grad school for the study
of online scrabble playing sites,
i would.

11 - 18 march.

road trip soliloquies.
***
11 march
knuckle
deep. we are all
unrepentant as we
pick our noses like these are our
last days.

12 march
listen!
all hail west tex-
as will serenade you
through this dark lonely drive in the
desert.

13 march
lauren:
you will stay fat
unless you stop eating
exclusively tacos. good luck,
lauren.

14 march
ruby's
bbq will
change your life if you let
it, and if you don't, then that's your
problem.

15 march
i think
it's nigh time to
unsubscribe from the i
heart comix mailing list. it's not
like i'm ever going to
show up.

16 march
yeah, there
were bands playing
at sxsw, but
certainly none played where i was
swimming.

17 march
dust storm.
maybe there's too
much talk of the desert
lately, but fuck. have you been there?
shit's vast.

18 march
really?
live in L.A.?
it's the god damned desert.
though, now i can get with bottled
water.

10 march

leaving.
off to texas.
three years in a row means
it's not coincidence, but a
pattern.