on the moral integrity of recent immigrants in the mani/pedi industry

how long
does it take to
find disreputable
koreans to shave this callous
off me?

fires in
the hills have had
smoke washing down over
the flats, covering the house
with smog,

leaving
thin coats of ash
on my bike seat. wildfires!
why live in a place where your house
burns down?

june 26
the fact
that i need a
sublet in brooklyn that
accepts cats and maybe boyfriends:
baffling.

june 25 (on enough already!)
google,
your targeted
ads keep reminding me
of greece, which i've been trying to
forget.

june 20 (on colliding interests)
asian
baby sing-a-
longs, swimming and pizza
makes for the only good day in
sf.

june 21 (on lake anza salvation)
it's so
HOT here, but the
ocean is so FRIGID,
and we got yelled at for jumping
off rocks.

june 22
popcorn
hangovers are
far worse than any hang-
over ever caused by marga-
ritas.

june 23 (on those who know exactly what they're getting into)
when you
said indy jones
four was unrealistic,
what movie did you mean to see,
moron?

june 24 (on repeating history's mistakes)
when will
i learn that of
all possible impulse
buys, big melons are the worst of
them all?

june 17, 18, 19 (on recent eats)
if i
had known the truth
about quesadillas
(they take but a second to make)
surely

i would
be much fatter
today. big salads take
forever to chop up, but they
last just

as long.
this has been a
message from the ladies
home journal newsletter, june
'08.

on california's recent sunlessness.

june gloom
is real. i don't
know how it's real, i was
certain you were lying to me.
alas.

june 15 (on questionable female liberation)
i'm not
sure why we don't
fuck anymore, but i
am positive about my vib
rator.

june 14
as glad
as i am that
you work in the cupcake
industry, my bikini won't
share thanks.

june 13
moving
will always, ALL
ways, make me nostalgic,
no matter how badly i need
to leave.

june 12 (on every birthday card i threw away)
am i
buying you an
ipod because our room
is too small, or is it a part-
ing gift?

june 11
i so
deeply fear the
loss of rainier cherry
season, my wallet stays always
empty.

okay.
i'll concede that
riding a bike kinda
rules, but critical mass should still
fuck off.

june 9:
the main
problem with long
vacations is that they
throw off your projects by almost
a month.

june 8:
delia
moved to oakland,
which makes it feel slightly
more like new jersey, but still more
unsafe.

june 7:
wilson's
heart? no. give me
house's head twice, and i
won't mention how you made this ep.
before.

june 6:
j.d.
against a wall
of stuffed buffalo was
truly worth the extravagance,
l.a.

june 5:
i think
it's obvious i've
lost my touch with these; yet,
i've also recently lost sal-
ami.

june 4:
the main
thing about this place
is that it's not even
close to argentina, or mor
occo.

june 3 & 2:
i know
that being a
volunteer won't even
help myself let alone any
one who

really
needs help, and i'm
not even assauging
white guilt, i'm just bored already
back home.

june 1:
jet lag
you're a fickle
mistress indeed, but your
charms will entice me no longer!
haHA!

fucking hell.

may 31:
phantom
planet, you said
it best: "california,
here i come," but you left out bur-
ritos.

may 30:
had i
understood shabbat
better, i would've booked
a different flight instead of a
day's wait.

may 29:
frozen
yogurt, mixed with
frozen dragonfruit, and
frozen halva, is changing my
whole life.

may 28:
there are
guns, huge fucking
guns, everywhere here, but
the trick is that no one seems to
notice.

may 27:
at least
people think i'm
spanish, but even my
killer tan won't make them shut the
fuck up.

may 26:
thank you
for spilling juice
all over my dress, sir.
vegetable lasagna, you can't
be stopped!

may 25:
dog rides
motorcycle.
my heart rejoices and
i sing the praises of this great
nation.

may 24: (on beneficial translation problems)
turkish
women always
are ambiguously
pregnant. luckily, i can't give
congrats.

may 23:
watching
ET with our
turkish hosts, subtitled,
is about the same as english,
really.


may 22:
flip flops
were not my best
decision on this trip
but neither was 50$
of tea.

may 21:
please god,
let my laundry
be finished before the
last overnight bus consumes me
for good.

may 20:
first i
climbed a mountain,
then i fell down it,
and later found myself sculpting
clay pots.

may 19:
yo d.
how did you know
how dry my knees always
are in bathtubs? a god amongst
women.


may 18:
twelve hour
overnight bus
with a screaming baby
just to sleep inside a cave on
the moon.


may 17:
if i
never get off
(that's what she said) this boat
i will go down fighting (that's what
she said)

may 16:
in the
BFG, giants
never eat greeks because
they taste greasy. well, they also fuck
ing suck.


may 15:
oh, france.
you are so quaint,
but i've yet to take a
photo of ANYthing, lest it's
a dog.

may 14:
cafe
culture has so
enamored me. people
watching is a refined sport?
genius.

may 13:
eiffel
tower leg will
haunt me for the next three
days as i reconcile language
boundaries

may 12:
it's so
first world to eat
my way across europe
but i want to hug a camel
also.